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FROM PHOBIC TO PHANATIC – MY JOURNEY WITH FACEBOOK

April 8th, 2011 • By: Eileen Lunny •

Still not on Facebook? You don’t know what you are missing! I have talked to a lot of women recently who remind me of myself less than a year ago. Join Facebook? No thank you. I have enough distractions in my life. I am also not particularly interested in being contacted by my third grade teacher or reconnected with a 7th grade class mate. I have enough friends and I am just too busy for more connections I thought. Once again, I find myself guilty of Albert Einstein’s famous quote which reminds me”condemnation before investigation is the height of ignorance.” I thought Facebook was a frivolous pastime, a “play toy”, a playground for bored, dull, friendless folks who had no life and were trying to create one. Sorry Facebook friends, I am just being honest here.

In business lingo, I am not what you would call an “early adopter”. I tend to wait, watch, and listen and what I was hearing was not too encouraging. In fact, some of what I heard about Facebook actually scared me. It reminds me of my journey with the iphone which I resisted for some of the same reasons. I initially did not want an iphone. Why? I did NOT want to be that accessible. The ability to receive emails and texts via my phone – no thank you. Have people be able to get me 24/7 – no way!

So, as with many things in my life, the exact opposite of what I thought would happen if I bought an iphone actually happened. To my surprise, I found that the iphone actually gave me more freedom – who’d have thought? Now, I don’t know how I ever lived without it. Today, I have the freedom to quickly respond to emails, get updates, read the latest news, etc. all on my schedule when it is convenient for me. I am no longer confined to a computer in my office to do my work. I am free! Waiting has actually become enjoyable. (Ok – Eckhart Tolle would not be happy – I should be being present with myself and not “passing time” on my iphone but that’s another post!).

My point is that I love my iphone and today don’t know how I existed without it and the same is true for Facebook. Actually, having the ability to make a connection at any time is one of the things I love most about Facebook. At any time, day or night, I can access my Facebook account and be inspired, uplifted and connected with the world. It is like reading a newspaper whose columns and columnists were created especially by me. I tell people it is “email with life”. I love the ability to ”friend” my favorite authors and receive their words of wisdom everyday and be able to comment and connect with them in real time.

There are so many reasons I love Facebook and, believe it or not, I found I DO love connecting with my old friends. It was the scared adolescent who was afraid of connecting with the kids from way back but my 48 year old self loves it. Today I am grateful for all of my connections and Facebook shows up often on my daily gratitude list.

In fact, I was inspired to write this post after celebrating my 48th birthday two weeks ago. I posted that “you haven’t celebrated a birthday until you’ve celebrated one on Facebook.” Throughout the day, my iphone (see – glad I have that!!) would chime and tell me I had another facebook post . “Happy Birthday, Eileen.” “Enjoy your day.” “Thinking of you today.” I had an astonishing 70 birthday wishes from all over the globe and I felt so loved and connected with my widening circle of friends thanks to this incredible social network.

Today, I view my circle of facebook friends as my big extended family. I look forward to waking up and seeing what is happening in the world through the eyes of my facebook family. Coffee with my extended family and available for me anytime I need it – marvelous. Not on facebook yet? Give yourself the gift and join and make sure to “friend” me. I look forward to connecting with you

Continue Reading Comments(2) Articles, Eckhart Tolle, Gratitude

DEEP GRATITUDE FOR THE SIMPLE THINGS

March 14th, 2011 • By: Eileen Lunny •

If you have been following me for awhile, you know I have survived some pretty serious emotional breakdowns over these last two years. In fact, I feel like I am in the middle of one right now. This past Thursday, I found out that my landlord has sold the townhouse I am currently living in and I have 30 days to find a new place, pack up and move. She is settling on this house on April 11th. My first reaction? Fear and Panic!

Thankfully I have learned that all “great” breakdowns are usually followed by incredible breakthroughs. It has happened so often that I no longer fear these periods when life seems dark and feels pointless. I know today “the sun will come out tomorrow!” This song actually has been my fight song for many years. As a young adult, my parents would often joke when I came home in a bad mood or dejected about something – “get the Annie CD on.” Music always serves to shift my mood. It is a constant on my daily gratitude list.

Navigating through these dark periods, I have learned an extremely valuable lesson – the things I value most in life will always be there regardless of my outside circumstances. It’s true. This amazing insight came to me one morning as I was writing my daily gratitude list. I often have new items on the list based on the events and circumstances of the day but I always have some simple key things that always bring me joy – my daughter, my family and friends, coffee, my bed, my morning blueberry loaf, music, sunshine, birds, breath.

It was really refreshing one morning when I realized at a deep level, regardless if I need to move to a smaller place, never find another soul mate, lose a job, have no money, that I will always have the things that matter most to me in my life.

I would encourage you to create this list for yourself. List those things that you are truly grateful for that are constants and will always be there regardless of outside circumstances. This list has helped me on many days when I languish in self – pity about some kind of ego related “important” issue. The gentle soulful reminder that I truly have all I really need. Life is much more simple than I realize. Today I am striving for this type of simplicity in my life. How about you? What are some of the simple things that give you pleasure and are always available? What is the “fight” song that helps you hold on until tomorrow? I would love to hear!

Continue Reading Comments(8) Fear, Gratitude, Simplicity

Take the 7 Day TV/Reading Deprivation Challenge!

March 8th, 2011 • By: Eileen Lunny •

For those of you that follow me on Facebook, you know that Sunday I began a 7 day reading and TV detox. That’s right, no reading or TV for one week. The reading detox is part of The Artist’s Way curriculum. “Each of us is a unique, creative individual. But we often blur that uniqueness with sugar, alcohol, drugs, overwork, underplay, bad relationships, toxic sex, underexercise, over-TV, undersleep – many and varied forms of junk food for the soul.” Julia Cameron reminds us. This is the reason I added TV. I use TV more as an escape than reading. What does it matter if I escape you ask? Don’t we all need to numb out? I used to believe so and spent many years using many of the “junk foods” Cameron lists above to quiet an internal dull ache.

Today, I am on a personal quest to be present in my life, moment by moment. To live fully and embrace ALL of it, all of the events, emotions, people and situations. This work is not for the faint of heart. This is the work of a warrior. Often I wonder if I am strong enough to continue on this journey. Thankfully the universe is ever so graceful and just when I feel like I am going to quit, turn back, retreat, and even in those times when I do, I get some inner resource to “just keep walking.”

Some of my greatest supports on this journey are spiritual teachers like Pema Chodron, Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie. Each of these masters, in their own brilliant way, has gently coached me on this journey. As I write this post, I have Pema’s book The Wisdom of No Escape sitting next to me. It is how I strive to live. In the book Pema reminds us that “So whether it’s anger or craving or jealousy or fear or depression – whatever it might be – the notion is NOT to try and get rid of it, but to make friends with it. That means getting to know it completely, with some kind of softness, and learning how, once you’ve experienced it fully, to let it go.” Typically, when I slow down those deeper feelings of uncertainty and pain bubble up. Which is why often, I just keep running and doing instead of being.

This journey is not new for me. If you follow my blog you know that last summer I embarked on a 30-day TV detox. I continue to marvel at what is created from open space. Last summer, when I did my TV detox the first week was light and fun. Lots of time to do more things – slower pace. Cool. I remember thinking “I like this – maybe I will never even go back to TV.” By the third week, I was in complete breakdown. Being with “me” for a prolonged period of time was just too confronting. I yearned to overeat, shop, escape reality plain and simple. However, as I detailed at the end of my third week post, when I forced myself to sit with these uncomfortable feelings and meet them head on, they dissipated. So why the resistance? Why do I still fear what will come up if I slow down?

The first day of this 7 day journey is a rainy Sunday and I end up sleeping all afternoon. I sleep soundly from 1-4PM and am fearful I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. To mysurprise, lights out at 9 and I sleep like a baby. This is not unusual. At my first silent retreat, I felt like I slept more than I was present in silence. The retreat facilitator said this is very common. We often don’t even realize how tired we are until we slow ourselves down. I remember that was one of the biggest gifts from the weekend of silence, feeling truly rested and refreshed.

So, after a silent retreat and one month without TV this one week should be a cinch, right? Hardly. I am already feeling anxiety surface that typically is not permitted to fully surface – where will I live next? Will I ever date again? Can I support myself doing what I love? Life’s bigger questions quickly become present with space. Today, I am using a technique I learned 2 weeks ago at a meditation class – make the space bigger, make room for all of it – all of my fear, anxiety, joy, etc. Yesterday I worked all day with a heavy feeling in my chest and a sense of impending doom in my psyche but the good new is I DID work and I didn’t run. I kept remembering Thich Nhat Hahn’s famous reminder to greet fear and unwanted emotion by saying ”Hello my friend.” I let the anxiety exist within me instead of trying to run from it, stuff it or numb it away. It was not easy, but today I feel less heavy.

Ever wonder what would show up for you without TV or reading for a week? How about a day? What would bubble up to the surface for you to create or to ponder? It is an interesting question. What I notice when those things are gone is at first a sense of joy and freedom. WOW. I feel good. Nothing pulling at me – more time to do what I really want. This is where the panic often begins. But what do I want? Who am I? What do I like to do? In the quiet when there is no where to run I am left to create and to ponder these bigger questions. Care to join me on this journey? Shut your TV off, close your books/newspapers and see what opens up. You may be surprised at what you discover.

Continue Reading Comments(2) Being Conscious, Confronting your truth, Eckhart Tolle, Overcoming compulsions, Pema Chodron, Slowing Down, TV Detox, The Artist's Way

VIDEO – CAN YOU LET YOURSELF BE FULLY SEEN?

January 17th, 2011 • By: Eileen Lunny •

Give yourself a 20 minute gift sometime this week and watch this amazing video from Brene Brown.

She shares her insights in a witty and wonderful way on embracing vulnerability as a key to overcoming shame, fear and our struggles to believe we are enough.

I LOVE this video. After viewing, I would love to here your comments.

Continue Reading Comments(2) Articles, Being Conscious, Confronting your truth, Fear, Overcoming compulsions, Self Acceptance

CAN A MATERIAL GIRL REALLY LEARN TO EMBRACE SIMPLICITY?

January 4th, 2011 • By: Eileen Lunny •

The universe has such an incredible sense of humor. I have been taught humility time and time again by having to embrace things that previously repulsed me.

For example, today I do not eat sugar and I do not drink alcohol. There was a time in my life when I would not have been your friend if you did not eat sugar and drink – I would have judged you as “boring” and moved on to my more “exciting” friends, leaving you in the dust.

Divorce. I had a similar view of divorcees – in my judgment, they gave up to soon, did not try hard enough, really didn’t consider the impact of their actions on their families or children, in short, were selfish and self-serving. Of course, that is until I became one. Today, I know there is nothing further from the truth.

Often, this is how the universe teaches me humility, by throwing me right into the situations, or with the people and things I have strong opinions about. It reminds me of the saying about ignorance – “condemnation before investigation.”

So my latest lesson in humility is one of simplicity. I have heard the saying “Simplify your Life” but I never really aspired to have a simple life. Simple to me meant boring, not exciting. Once again, the universe had other ideas. Reluctantly, I have had to scale back my life and my lifestyle.

The feeling I get when I think about this is similar to when I took my first Artist Date, a solo excursion by myself for the first time to the art museum, and vacillated between feeling elated and courageous to pathetic and scared. Today, as I embrace a simpler life, I vacillate between those same feelings of courage and elation and pathetic and scared.

Over the last two years, I have moved out of an estate home on a golf course to a rented townhouse and am facing the prospect of moving, once again, to a smaller place. I now shop in consignment stores and even posted an article about how they have become my new “boutiques” as I continue to downsize my lifestyle. I recently worked up a three year plan for my new business and when I proudly showed it to my business friend and advisor, she lovingly reminded me “Great. Now you’re right below the poverty level.” Yikes.

How did I get here? As an adult, I have always had money. Plenty of money. I made a decision as a young girl that I would always be independent and have money and worked hard to ensure that outcome. I got a good job right out of college and when I left to try and get pregnant at age 37, I was earning a good six figure salary. I got pregnant, had a baby, became a stay at home mom, and had a husband whose business kept us in the same comfortable lifestyle.

Today, I really can’t tell you what happened. All I know is that my journey has brought me to the place I am today and I am grateful. That’s the miracle. I am grateful to know the truth that money, possessions, even people really can not provide the safety and security I am seeking at a deep level.

Today, instead of embracing the philosophy of the material girl, the “achiever”, the “doer”, one who believes that more and bigger are better, I, instead, work hard to embrace simplicity. I found a poem by William Henry Channing called “This Is To Be My Symphony” which begins “To live content with small means.” It has become my new anthem.

Today, I strive “to be content with small means.” Am I there yet? No. I still have a material “wish list” which includes Phillies season tickets, an ipad , a shore house (which I once owned) and yes, even a new partner.

The difference is that at a deep level I know that none of those things will truly make me happy or provide the feeling of peace and contentment I am seeking moment by moment. This is an inside job and one I continue to work on daily.

How about you? Where are you on the simplicity journey? How do you balance an inner yearning for the simple with an outer world that feels more and more material? Please share your comments, I would love to hear!